Hearing Isn't Everything
by IronHeartWriter
Summary: Pre-movie AU, Clint has lost his hearing but hasn't told his partner. Though Clint teaches her that hearing isn't everything. Black Hawk Oneshot.


**AN: I'm not really sure where I pulled this idea from. I think it was after doing research on Hawkeye's back story and reading that he was deaf. That being said, this takes place before the movie in an AU. That being said, let's get to the story, shall we? I own nothing.**

* * *

From the day she met him, Natasha could tell something was a little off about Clint Barton. When they first met and he spared her life, she didn't think much of the way he would watch her while she spoke or the few times he asked her to repeat herself or clarify what she had said, after all, she did sometimes talk at a rapid pace and occasionally stumble over a word or two, but finally, one night, it struck a nerve when Clint asked her to repeat what she had just said during a mission debriefing.

"What are you deaf?" She snapped, regretting it almost immediately. She was tired though after the long mission, and Clint's request had irritated her just the slightest bit. Her cheeks burned slightly when she saw Clint look at the ground.

"Actually, Natasha, I am," He responded, his eyes still on the floor for another moment before he got up and exited the meeting room. Natasha's eyes shot to Fury, a questioning look in her clear blue eyes. Fury, however, was giving her the same grim look that Clint had given her.

"Director, was he telling the truth?" She finally asked, her cheeks continuing to burn. They hadn't been partners very long at that point, less than two months. Sure, she had noticed that Clint was a little off at times, and he sometimes asked her to repeat what she had just said, but was he _actually_ deaf?

Fury nodded once, "About a year ago, Agent Barton was on a mission and was equipped with experimental sonic arrows. They were not fully tested and he was told that they were for emergencies only. The mission went south and Agent Barton's only chance of getting out of there alive was using one of those arrows. It saved his life, but it also rendered him mostly deaf in both ears."

"With due respect, why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?" Natasha asked as she stood up and started to pace. It was irritating that she, of all people, who spent most of her time around Clint, whether it be in training or on missions, hadn't even realized or been told what her partner was dealing with.

"It was his choice," Fury said with a shrug. "He's proved that he doesn't let his hearing impairment get in the way of doing his job, so we've allowed it to be his decision whether he mentions it to a person or not. Agent Barton wears hearing aids that are invisible to most people unless they actually look for them. Apparently you never did."

"Well _why_ would I look for them?" Natasha demanded. "I just thought Clint had a hard time understanding me due to the fact that I sometimes talk a little fast or I mumble a bit. I didn't realize he _actually_ had a hearing impairment."

"Well, maybe it's time you start paying better attention, Agent Romanoff."

Natasha had stormed from the room then and gone to find Clint. She felt like a true fool, and an insensitive one at that. She found him two floors down in the training room beating the crap out of a punching bag. She watched him for a few moments before speaking.

"Clint."

She got no response from him and that made her narrow her eyes slightly, "Clint?" She said a little louder. Again, nothing. She shook her head and walked around into Clint's line of view, "Barton!"

It was then that she saw the slight quirk of his lip, though his eyes were still on the punching bag and she realized that he could hear her perfectly right then, "I'd say I'm not deaf..."

Natasha rolled her eyes and moved to hold the punching bag back, "I'm sorry, Clint," She said at last as she looked into his stormy eyes. His eyes were one of the things that she secretly admired about him. They weren't exactly gray, nor were they hazel, but something like a mix of all of them. "I was insensitive as fuck before. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"You didn't know," Clint said with a shrug. He used his teeth to pull on the strap of his boxing glove so he could remove it before he continued. "It's fine."

"If it's so fine, why are you beating the shit out of the punching bag and making me think that you can't hear me?" Natasha asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"The two have nothing to do with one another," Clint said honestly, walking away to get a drink from his water bottle. "The punching bag torment is because I'm frustrated and it's easier and less painful than punching the wall. I feel like I should have mentioned my hearing to you, now that I actually think about it. You're my partner and I should tell you things."

"Then why didn't you?" Natasha asked in a soft voice.

"Hmm?"

Clint looked over his shoulder at her with a slightly confused look. He had missed part of what she had said. His mind really was all over the place at that moment. He gave Natasha a slightly apologetic look and Natasha cleared her throat.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked a little louder, walking closer to him. She was feeling worse and worse with each mistake she seemed to make. She didn't want to make Clint uncomfortable, but at that point, she was just curious about it all.

"Well, how would you feel having to tell everyone that you're essentially disabled?" Clint asked, leaning against the wall as he spoke. "That you're pretty much the world's best marksman, but you can't hear worth a damn without these things," He reached up to his ear and pulled out a small device. Natasha could see that it was both small and essentially colored the same as his skin. She wondered vaguely how he didn't lose them every day. But then again, his eyes weren't impaired at all. He slid the device back in place and smiled grimly at Natasha, "Trust me, I see the way you're looking at me now. I liked it better when you didn't look at me like I was dying."

Natasha's eyes widened, "God, Barton," She groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. She sighed softly and shook her head. She hadn't even realized that she was looking at him differently than she normally did. She was starting to feel like she should just quit while she was ahead...

Her body suddenly stiffened as she felt Clint's hand on her shoulder, but she relaxed slightly as she looked up at him, "I'm sorry," She said. "I'm just making this more difficult for you, I think."

"You're just making it difficult for yourself, Natasha," Clint said with a small smile. "It doesn't really change who I am, it just means that you know more about me than you did before. You're really just overthinking it right now. Don't worry about offending me. Trust me, I've dealt with much worse than you."

Natasha smirked, "Are you sure about that?" She asked, eying his discarded gloves. She was slightly tired, due to the fact that they had just gotten back from a mission, but she wanted, more than anything, to go back to the way that she and Clint normally were. She wanted to prove to him that she didn't see him differently just because she had learned about his hearing impairment.

Clint followed her gaze and smirked, "Best of five?" He asked, his stormy eyes catching hers once again. Natasha finally relaxed as she met his gaze and held it, giving a somewhat relieved sigh.

"You're on."

That had been over a year ago. Natasha's cheeks still burned when she thought about the day, but she never mentioned that to Clint. After countless missions, several injuries, and one particular mission that had gone south to the point that they'd both had to escape from a building that was collapsing around them, Natasha and Clint had settled into what most people would have called a relationship, but they didn't see it that way. After all, they didn't go on dates, they didn't act all mushy, but the two of them were rarely without one another and had gotten into the habit of sleeping in the same bed together. Sure, they enjoyed each others bodies every once in a while, but nobody dared to mention the word relationship while they were in the same room as Natasha, lest their hand get broken by the fiery Russian redhead.

When it came to Natasha and Clint, it was often like they had their own language. Whether Clint had his hearing aids in or not, they had gotten to the point where they were in sync no matter the situation. Natasha, for Clint's sake, had taken up sign language, which allowed Clint to let his ears rest every once in a while, usually at night when they were alone.

It was on one of these nights that Natasha realized something was off, more so than usual, with her partner. He wasn't as talkative as normal and he would barely look at her. And was she imagining it, or was he actually drinking more than she was?

"Clint," She said at last as she settled on the couch in his room, a glass of vodka in her hand. "Is something wrong?" She asked, folding her legs under her. She watched as he poured himself yet another glass of the clear liquid and downed it before she got up, "Okay, enough," She said, taking the bottle before he could reach for it again. "What the hell is going on with you? You've been acting weird all afternoon, ever since you got back from that meeting with Fury. Did he say something to you about us?"

"Natasha," Clint said at last, but Natasha had already started on her rant.

"I don't believe all of them," Natasha growled. "Don't these people have anything better to do than talk about something so stupid? I mean, it's not like we're parading around the place making eyes at each other or-"

"Natasha."

"...Banging each other every other second of the day and not getting our jobs done," Natasha rattled on as though Clint had said nothing. Clint assumed that she really hadn't heard him. She often didn't when she got into her rants. "I mean, there are people around here who are much worse than both of us. What gives them the right to-"

"Natasha!" Clint finally yelled. Natasha froze and Clint rolled his eyes. Finally, he'd gotten through to her. He sighed softly and leaned back against the couch, "Fury thinks they can fix my hearing."

Natasha blinked. She hadn't been expecting that, "What?"

"And they say I'm the deaf one," Clint said with another roll of his eyes. "Fury thinks that they can fix my hearing permanently."

"H-how?" Natasha asked, sitting back on the couch at last. She was finding herself to be somewhat confused. For a while Fury had told Clint that it would be impossible to regain his hearing. What had suddenly changed?

"Remember your dear, sweet friend Tony Stark?"

Natasha cringed. Stark was unforgettable, that much went pretty much without saying. She shook her head and sighed, "Do you need to remind me about _that_ mission?" She asked grimly.

Clint chuckled. He knew all too well that Natasha hated any mention of Tony Stark, "Either way, it looks like Fury and Stark have been talking again. He's created a small device that will enable me to hear again."

"Clint, that's amazing," Natasha said, though she still felt slightly stunned. She thought that Clint being able to hear again would be amazing, but at the same time, she didn't want to get her hopes up too quickly. "How's it work?"

"It's a tiny device that's gotta be surgically implanted into my head," Clint said, his tone slightly grim. "But once it's implanted, I'll be down for a short time where they're not going to want me to hear anything at all, and once I'm healed, it's supposed to be like I never lost my hearing to begin with."

"When you say surgically implanted..."

"I mean they've got to cut my head open to put the device in place," Clint confirmed with a nod. "Really, it's not as risky as it sounds, but just the thought of having to have my head cut open..."

He didn't need to finish. Natasha could see the rare spark of fear in Clint's eyes when he mentioned it. Natasha stood up and walked over to Clint and sat down on his lap. His arms were instantly around her waist and his chin rested against her shoulder. He sighed softly and she wrapped her arm around his shoulder, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I want to do it," Clint said after a moment. "Hell, it'd be great to not have to worry about something happening to my hearing on a mission, but at the same time..."

"Getting your head cut open isn't exactly on your list of things to do before you die?" Natasha finished with a small smile.

Clint nodded once, "I don't know, Nat," He said honestly. He nuzzled her shoulder for a moment before leaning back on the couch with her, "There's some risk to it, but there's also the potential for me to never have to worry about my hearing again."

"Well, you know no matter what you choose, I'm still going to be your partner, right?" Natasha asked with a small smile. Clint looked down into her eyes, his hand moving idly along her arm. He thought vaguely about how if he wasn't her partner, he wouldn't have heard the slight double meaning to her words.

"Of course, my Natasha."

Within a week, Clint had made his choice. He was going to go through with the surgery. He wanted his hearing back. That was all there was to it. Fury had a team of specialized doctors notified, and Clint was almost immediately prepared to go in for surgery. As part of the surgery prep, his hair was shaved, not for the first time, but Clint found it was something he wasn't sure he'd ever get used to.

Natasha stood pacing the room where she had been allowed to wait with Clint before he went in for the surgery. She was on edge and Clint was sure everyone within the SHIELD base could feel her tension, "You know, your back's going to be a mess by the time you go to sleep tonight," Clint mused from the hospital bed as he watched Natasha pace.

"Who said anything about sleep?" Natasha mumbled, not looking up from the line she had been slowly pacing through the floor. She finally stopped and looked over at Clint. She would never admit it, but her heart cracked slightly when she saw him sitting there just watching her. She walked over to him finally and took one of his hands in both of hers, "You're going to be alright. You know that, right?"

Clint nodded and gave Natasha's hand a soft squeeze, "Do you?"

Natasha smiled grimly, "Sorry," She said. "I just... I want to see this work for you, you know?"

"It will," Clint said firmly. "Don't worry so much. You think SHIELD's doctors will let anything happen to one of their two best assassins?"

There was a soft knock on the door and Fury walked in with a nurse, "Agent Romanoff, Agent Barton, it's time."

Natasha nodded once, but she couldn't seem to figure out how to work her fingers to let go of Clint's hand. Clint looked up at her and gave her a confused look. She inhaled shakily and finally managed to release his hand as the nurse injected his other arm.

"Good luck," She said in a soft voice as she took a step back.

"You'll need to remove your hearing aids, Agent," The nurse said as she looked over Clint's chart one more time. Clint nodded once and took out the small hearing aids. He laid them down on a small table and looked over to Natasha. His eyelids were already starting to droop, but he felt like there was one more thing he needed before he went into surgery. He snapped his fingers and Natasha looked over at him instinctively.

Clint smiled at her and raised his hand in a symbol that he never used before, _I love you._

His hand fell as the sedative took him under and his head lolled to the side, his breathing evening out as he was wheeled out to the operating room. Natasha stood frozen where Clint had been in bed moments before, her heart thundering painfully.

"Agent Romanoff," Fury started, but Natasha ignored him and left the room. She suddenly felt as though the entire building was too confining. She needed to get out. She needed air or she was going to lose it. Her mind immediately went to one of Clint's haunts. She rode the elevator to the top floor of the building and walked across the roof to sit on the ledge that Clint so often perched on to get away from the rest of the world. There was something peaceful about being up there, but also slightly terrifying. She didn't understand how Clint did the heights all the time, but at the same time, he wouldn't be Hawkeye if he didn't do the heights.

She wasn't sure how long she stayed up there, nor was she aware that she fell asleep, nor was she aware that it had gotten dark, at least not until she heard an annoyingly familiar voice, "Natashalie, sleeping on the roof? Really?"

Natasha shot up as though someone implanted a spring on her backside. She snarled softly, relaxing only slightly when she saw Tony Stark standing not three feet away from her, "My name is Natasha, Stark," She growled.

"Actually, you told me originally that it was Natalie," Tony said with a shrug. "Not the point. What _is_ the point is that Barton's awake and slightly delirious, and asking for you."

"What are you doing here anyway?" Natasha grumbled as she headed for the elevator, silently thanking whatever deity had been watching over Clint during his surgery.

"Well it's _my_ device that's in your boyfriend," Tony said in his usual cocky tone. "I figured I may as well come see it being implanted." He ducked as Natasha aimed a right hook for his jaw and narrowed his eyes, "Well, if that's the thanks I get, I won't bother next time."

"He's not my boyfriend, Stark," Natasha said stiffly as she stepped in the elevator, half debating jabbing the door close button and watching the doors close in his face.

"Yeah, whatever," Tony rolled his eyes and decided to stay silent for the rest of the ride down to the recovery room. "You're welcome," He said as Natasha left him in the elevator.

Natasha flicked Stark off and approached Fury who was talking to a doctor outside the recovery room, "Well?"

"It's implanted and functioning," Fury said with a nod. "He needs some time to heal, but in a few weeks, it should be like those sonic arrows never affected him."

"A few weeks?" Natasha repeated. She looked Fury hard in his one good eye, "So, what, is he not allowed to hear or anything?"

"It's a safer option to slowly start incorporating noise back into his life," Fury said. "For the first week or so he's going to have to wear noise-canceling headphones, and then he's just going to slowly start getting used to things again. Within six weeks though he should be back to normal."

"So no talking to him until then?"

"You can talk to him," Fury said with a shrug. "Last I remember Agent Barton could read lips perfectly."

"I mean talking to him where he can actually hear my voice," Natasha said, her frustration growing. She felt like Fury had known what she meant, and her patience was starting to wear thin.

"Not for a week, maybe more," Fury said grimly.

That was all Natasha needed to hear. She peeked into the recovery room before walking in. Clint lay on his side on the bed, the back of his head bandaged up, a small pair of headphones over his ears. Natasha knew he couldn't possibly have heard her, but at the same moment that she had closed the door behind her, he lifted his head up. She smiled and walked around to face him.

_Nice to see your senses still work_, She signed to him. She breathed a sigh of relief as she stood in front of him. He didn't look exactly like himself, but the sharpness was still in his eyes.

_I always know when you're around,_ Clint signed back somewhat tiredly. _Are you okay?_

_I should be asking you that_, Natasha responded. She shook her head. That was just like Clint. Leave it to him to be worrying about her while he was in the recovery room after having his head cut open to restore his hearing.

_I've got painkillers,_ Clint smirked. _Can't feel a damn thing. Don't worry so much about me. I'll be alright before you know it._

And he did progress pretty rapidly after that point. The doctors were pleased with the progress Clint made every day. Natasha, however, often refused to leave his side. Many people around the SHIELD building started to compare her to a hearing dog. While Clint couldn't use his ears, she became his ears. She made sure his recovery was kept on track and that nobody screwed with it. Clint, however, after the second week, was starting to think that there was more going on than Natasha let on. He saw the guarded look in her eyes whenever they were alone, but for those first two weeks he didn't question it. Finally, at the beginning of the third, he spoke up.

"Natasha," He said in a soft voice, having finally been cleared to use his own voice again. His voice, however, was often hoarse from the lack of usage those days. He watched her carefully as she sat down on the couch opposite him "What's going on with you?"

Natasha, who was still only cleared to talk to him in sign language gave him a confused look, _What do you mean?_

"Other than the fact that you look like you're on edge every single time we're alone?"

Natasha sighed visibly, her shoulders heaving as she did so, _It's nothing._

"You know, just because you're not using your voice, doesn't mean I can't tell when you're lying."

Natasha's eyes narrowed before she rolled them, _You told me..._

Clint blinked, "I haven't said anything to you that should make you like this."

_...That you love me._

Clint wasn't sure whether to laugh or not. That's what was setting Natasha off? The fact that he had told her that he loved her? When had that even happened? He wracked his memory for a moment before he remembered vaguely, in the hazy of sedation drugs, signing I love you to Natasha, "Oh."

_Did you mean to say that to me?_ Natasha asked, her signing so rapid and sudden that Clint almost missed it as he was deep in his thoughts.

"You know I don't say things I don't mean."

_But you were-_

Clint shook his head and cut Natasha off, "No, Nat," He said firmly. "Don't tell me that I only said it because I was half sedated at the time. You know I mean everything I say or sign."

Natasha fell silent then, well, she stopped signing anyway, and she left the room. Clint felt his heart sink. That's what had been bothering her? Really? He pinched the bridge of his nose. What difference did it make at that point? It seemed like she really didn't feel the same way. He half expected her to not come back. But within the hour, she was back and acted as though nothing had happened. Clint decided to drop the subject. Natasha was clearly happier not talking about it, and he wasn't going to bring it up again if it was going to hurt her.

Six weeks finally passed in which Clint was recovering from his surgery. On the sixth week to the day, he was finally cleared as having perfect hearing, but he was still advised to stay away from explosives louder than a gun for a little longer. He was more than happy with the diagnosis. It had been six weeks since he'd heard Natasha's voice and he was eager to tell her that he was deemed healed. It seemed like Tony Stark had actually known what he was doing. He made a mental note to send Tony something as a thank you. But what the hell did you buy someone who had everything? He'd ask Natasha about that one, but there was something he needed to discuss with her first.

"Natasha," He said as he found her in the rec room, a copy of _Sherlock Holmes_ in her hands, "You can talk to me again," He announced with a grin. He sat on the small coffee table in front of the couch, I need to talk to you about something."

Natasha closed her book and looked up at Clint, "Clint..."

"Wait a minute, Natasha," Clint said. "Now that you're able to talk to me, there's something I want to say to you first. I'm sorry if what I signed to you before my surgery made you uncomfortable in any way. I shouldn't have done that-"

"Clint."

But Clint steamrolled right through her, "I did mean it though, Nat. You've been my partner for over a year and I do care for you as more than just a partner. I truly do. I should have told you at a better time than right before my surgery though-"

"Clint!" Natasha finally snapped. She felt a strange sense of deja vu as she gave Clint an amused look. "I love you too."

Clint blinked, "You... what?"

Natasha's old familiar smirk appeared, "I love you too, Clint," She said in a soft voice. "I'm sorry," She sighed. "I was really caught off guard when you told me right before you went into surgery, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me, and the more I realized I felt the same way."

"When did you realize that?" Clint asked, more than taken aback by the fact that Natasha had told him that she really did love him too.

"Three weeks ago."

"Three weeks ago," Clint repeated. "When you freaked out on me in sign language."

"I wanted the first time that I told you I love you to be when you could actually hear it," Natasha admitted, biting down on her lower lip.

"Three weeks ago," Clint repeated again. "You know what I was thinking these past three weeks?"

Natasha bit down harder on her lower lip, "I'm sorry..."

A low growl escaped Clint's lips and Natasha's eyes widened. She knew that growl. Fuck. She jumped up and tore out of the rec room, but before she could make it to the elevator, Clint grabbed her wrist and she was tossed almost painfully against the wall, Clint's hands on either side of her head.

"I love you, Natasha Romanoff, but you're going to pay for those three weeks," He told her in a low voice.

"I look forward to it," Natasha replied with a hint of snark. The next moment Clint had captured her lips in a deep kiss. Sure, they had kissed before. They'd even had sex before, but none of those compared to the heat and passion behind this kiss. Clint growled against Natasha's lips as he lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist. He thought vaguely of how much he was going to enjoy having his hearing back as he guided them both to his room and locked the door behind him.


End file.
